Motherhood and postpartum depression

As a new mom, I was full of excitement when I saw her tiny fingers entwined in mine. She looks so beautiful that I could stare at her all day. But who has the time? Apart from feeding her, there are other tasks to be managed too. The first few sleepless nights were not so difficult till it became an everyday routine. Just imagine not sleeping through the night for almost 10 months! My folks have been very supportive so I manage to get enough rest not to call myself sleep deprived. Yet I would love a 6 hour straight sleep without any wakings. Breastfeeding was a choice I made despite the difficulty of not really knowing if the baby is full or just wants comfort. 10 months down the line, the milk has reduced and the baby’s hunger has increased. I have a cleaner, a cook and a part time nanny. Yet the anxiety is at a peak.

The feeling of motherhood is amazing yet it has another reality too, the reality of postpartum anxiety. I won’t call it depression as it is not the right term for me at least. So what exactly happens when you go through postpartum anxiety? Here are a couple of things that I experienced:

1. The constant worry that the baby may stop breathing if I doze off.

2. The physical exhaustion from not sleeping well and the hormones going for a ride.

3. When the baby starts crawling, the fear of her falling off the bed or the cot. (This happened to me twice, once when I doze off. Since then I can’t sleep peacefully if I sleep with her alone).

4. When the baby learns how to stand, the stress of dealing with their tears when they tumble and fall due to lack of balance. (My baby almost bangs her head everyday yet my anxiety has not reduced).

5. The fear of being alone with your baby.

6. Wanting to leave everything and run away.

7. The most important one is the feeling of having failed as a mother each time the baby cries, falls sick, is unhappy, etc. I am sure every mother has had this thought at least once as a new mom.

The list is endless and each person has their own experiences. However, one thing that is common among all women who suffer postpartum anxiety is the constant need for support, care and the fear of future. I consulted a counselor who helped me understand that it is okay to be angry. Just like love, anger and anxiety are also emotions which we all experience.

The best way to deal with postpartum is to first consult a professional. You will at least get an awareness about your levels of anxiety. Thereafter, work on finding ways to get some time for yourself everyday. This is the most difficult thing to do while caring for a baby but it is extremely important. Remember if you are not fit, you will not be able to give your best to your child. A 10 minute routine of doing anything that does not involve your spouse or the baby is great to start with. Try and do as many things that make you happy as you can. Get lots of rest. The mistake that I made is not sleeping when the baby sleeps. I kept trying to complete work while she slept leading to exhaustion. For a long time, I resented the decision of having a baby as I missed my independence. Then I accepted my present state, thanked God for this beautiful gift of motherhood and appreciated myself for doing a damn good job every single day despite the exhaustion.

Always remember you are not alone. Many women experience anxiety and anger which they don’t express especially in India where women are supposed to be supermoms, superwives and super in every field. Don’t be ashamed of talking to your folks about what you are feeling and get as much support as possible. If you get stuck at any point just tell yourself “THERE IS NOTHING IN THE WORLD THAT I CANNOT HANDLE”. Living on your own terms also means accepting yourself as you are and working through the challenges.

I hope this helps you. Please follow me and like and share my stories if you enjoyed reading it.

Getting Pregnant with PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome)

After gaining 10 kilos of weight and living a lifestyle based on junk food, I was detected with Poly-Cystic Ovary Syndroms (PCOS/PCOD). I had no idea about what this was, so I simply followed the doctor’s advice for two years. The doctor prescribed metformin tablets which would help regulate the hormones. I ended up eating more junk and gained more weight. The medicines didn’t help me lose weight nor help me get rid of the PCOS. The situation got worse due to excessive eating leading to mild depression.

Then I looked at my video where I was dancing at a cousin’s wedding. I was shocked at what I had become. I resolved that day to cure myself by focusing on my well being. I stopped taking the metformin which was making me lethargic. My visits to the gynecologist were depressing me, so I stopped going to her as well.

Despite the doctor being sure that it was not possible to reverse PCOS without metformin, I managed to reverse my PCOS. I got pregnant without undergoing fertility treatment. I also lost weight and had a very easy delivery.

I am not suggesting that a person detected with PCOS or thyroid must not follow the doctor’s advice. While you follow what the doctor says, please consider doing the following things because this may help you get rid of PCOS or thyroid naturally as it helped me.

1. Yoga

Yoga or meditation is an amazing way to gain control over the mind. I joined a yoga camp at the Yoga Institute in Mumbai, which was the best thing I did for myself since the PCOS was detected. It not only gives peace but also helps in increasing positivity. There are specific asanas which help in improving a woman’s reproductive system. You must do the Baddhakonasana (butterfly pose) every day before conception and during pregnancy as this asana strengthens the pelvic area and eases the delivery process. It also helps in the process of conception.

Paschimottanasana is a forward bending asana that helps to work on the abdomen, ovaries, and uterus.

Setu Bandhsana (bridge pose) is a great asana. It works on the glutes, thighs, and back. It also enhances blood circulation in the ovaries and uterus which helps in improving fertility.

Apart from these asanas, one must also do asanas that aid in weight loss such as Pavanmuktasana, Hastapadasana, Konasana, Bhujangasana.

Yogendra Pranayam IV, Anulomvilom pranayam and Kapalbhati pranayam are great to treat PCOS and Thyroid.

2. Healthy eating

The best thing would be to consult a dietician. I consulted a dietician at the hospital who gave me wonderful tips. The foods that really help are ones that are rich in antioxidants such as blueberry, blackberry, raspberry, and avocado. Eat sweet potato, carrots and lots of green vegetables such as spinach, bitter gourd, french beans. Do not skip breakfast. Oats give a wonderful start to the day as they are rich in fibre. Eat small meals every 2-3 hours.

3. Exercise 

Weight loss is important for reversing PCOS as this is a lifestyle condition. Instead of doing crazy workouts and burning out the next day, focus on increasing your physical activity step by step. I started with 15 minute walks at home. Gradually, I was able to work out in the gym for an hour. I managed to lose 10 kilos slowly and steadily without quitting any of my favorite foods. Everyone is different. Accept yourself as you are. Then work towards bringing about changes that you desire one by one.

4. Have faith, not doubt

Half of the battle is the battle of the mind. Don’t be a woman of doubt. Be a woman of faith. If you believe you can do it, you will surely succeed. It may take time but don’t give up. Most of the lifestyle conditions result out of stress. So forget the stress and have faith that God will do the rest.

5. Acupressure

There are certain points in our hands and legs which can be used to treat diseases, pains, aches or other medical conditions. I learned acupressure from some senior teachers. Consistently giving myself the acupressure points treatment contributed to the reversal of PCOS.

6. A happy mind is key to a healthy body

Lastly, let go of the things you don’t like. Take up a hobby or a new challenge to keep your mind occupied with things that you enjoy doing. In the daily grind, we often forget to enjoy the little things that make us truly. If you are in a happy frame of mind, you will eat well and feel good. That is the key to a healthy body. Once you are happy in your mind, you will be healthy in your body.

Disclaimer: Please note that these are things which have helped me reverse my PCOS and get pregnant naturally. However, I have no intention of advising anyone to ignore their doctor’s advice. Alongside your doctor’s treatment, you can try the above to expedite the process of reversal of PCOS or thyroid.

If you enjoy reading my articles please follow my blog www.passion-goals.blogspot.com and follow me on Momspresso.

Break the routine

As each day passes by in the daily grind

The soul craves for a challenge that will enlighten the mind,

The cycle of a mundane routine kills my imagination 

As each day passes I crave for a vacation,

Then I ponder over a question that has made me wonder for days

In a routine that bores me why don’t I find some creative ways,

I open my pen and sit with a notebook in which I used to write poetry

But words don’t flow the way they used to when I wrote while sitting below a tree,

As I pen down my first thoughts and struggle to find a further way

The table clock reminds me of the tasks to be done before the end of day,

I keep the pen down and stare at the line I wrote on the paper for a while

Telling myself I will complete the tasks later which makes me smile,

After an hour of struggle I finally finish the poem with satisfaction 

And I return to the routine without any depression,

All you need is a little time for yourself once in a while

To break the chains of routine and do something that makes you smile.

Women's Day 2019 - What about the MAN in the woMAN?

What about the man in the woman, who works day & night so his family can survive 

He wakes up early morning, sleeps late at night and does overtime in a job that is nine to five

Everyone in the family appreciates his wife for being a superwoman but nobody looks at the man who supports her all the time

Yet he doesn’t complain, he smiles and goes to the shop outside his house to drink soda with lime,

The newspapers discuss laws that would help in protecting women from all types of crimes

But they do not talk about the man who teaches his daughter to fight when she faces difficult times

They say that this world is not safe because there is a man standing outside her door

The media is not interested in writing about the man who stands for justice yet is uncared for,

Everyone greets her with flowers for the support that she extends

For making her life so beautiful nobody asks him what he expects

There is a special day to celebrate the glory and success of a woman

So why don’t we have a day to celebrate the contribution of her man?

She cooks, cleans, takes care of her family every single day

To make her smile on difficult days he goes out of the way

We have enough laws to protect our damsel in distress

But now we need some regulations to protect our men who are in stress

The men who exploit women should be prosecuted 

But the women who lie and blackmail men should also be arrested 

We want to be protected from harassment that’s why we started the slogan “Me too”

To stand against the women who misuse the law, the time has come to start the campaign of “He too”

I am not a feminist, I believe in equality for all

I don’t want to be treated special, I just want credit for work done on my own

My strength comes from my father, my husband and my brother 

Who always taught me not to feel let down by another,

On this woman’s day let’s celebrate real freedom

Instead of blindly supporting women who lie in the name of feminism 

Let us express gratitude to the man who helps you become a woman

Let us create a world where no one asks what about the MAN in the woMAN.

A tribute to Indian Army - The Soldier who stood alone

I salute the soldier who stood alone in winter and in summer,

It is because of him that I live my life with peace and cheer,

I sleep on my bed peacefully at night,

Because a soldier is keeping danger out of my sight,

I enjoy the festivals and holidays with my family,

While the soldier guards our borders even if the weather is chilly,

He goes through a tough training,

So he can serve my country,

He doesn't bother if his shoes are torn when it is raining,

So I can play with my child and be happy,

Today his family mourns and is feeling sad,

While I watch the news about his death and feel bad,

He gave his life in a second for my security,

And all I do is light candles and forward messages on whatsapp,

He fought till the end so he could do his duty,

While I sit with my friends to have coffee and chit-chat,

After a few days the media will start discussing another story,

People will forget the soldier and his glory,

I hope we all remember how the man stood alone,

While fighting for our security, today the soldier is gone.

Jai Hind 🇮🇳
Janki Hemani (www.passion-goals.blogspot.com) 

Getting Pregnant

“A child teaches a woman to be a mother,

The joy that a child gives you is like no other,

By the end of each day you may feel exhausted,

But a smile from your child will make you feel energetic,

A husband and wife may love each other lifelong,

But the presence of a child makes their bond strong.”

Being a mother is the most wonderful experience I’ve had so far. It has taught me the meaning of unconditional love and gratitude towards my husband and my family. Parenthood is not easy and requires lot of patience and perseverance. This article will discuss some alternative non-medical ways to help you get started on your journey of motherhood.

If you are ready for this journey then you must consult a doctor first. Apart from the advice that the doctor will give, the following steps will definitely help you to get pregnant in a healthy way:

1. Love yourself and Accept yourself

The weighing scale plays a crucial role in the process of conceiving a baby, yet the most important thing that you need to do is to love yourself. Accepting your body as it is will play a very important role in this journey. If weight is an issue then work on getting fit but first, you must accept yourself as you are. This will create a foundation of positivity which will help you during pregnancy and childbirth. 

2. A supportive partner makes the journey beautiful 

My husband was very caring and supportive from the time we decided to have a child. In our society, women are still targeted on issues related to pregnancy and childcare. If you are married for a year, people start getting curious as to why you are not pregnant yet. All couples have their priorities in this regard yet family and friends tend to gossip and enquire about these things. During such times, your husband’s support will help you stay away from unnecessary comments. My husband and I decided when it was time for us to have a baby and comments from the society never ceated tension between us. He was extremely sensitive to me during the process as I had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). Even before we decided to get pregnant, the doctors told us it would be difficult for me to get pregnant naturally due to PCOS. However, a strong will along with a positive attitude reversed my PCOS.

3. You can get pregnant naturally even with PCOS

I will deal with this topic in the next article as it requires a detailed discussion. Despite the doctor’s advice, I got pregnant naturally when we decided to get on this journey. It is completely possible to have PCOS yet have a normal pregnancy and delivery.

4. Weight is not just a number

When I got pregnant, I was overweight. But I still had lost 10 kilos from my original weight before we started thinking about having a child. Weight is not just a number. Extra kilograms of body fat not only invite diseases, but also make you lethargic. You may get through a healthy pregnancy with the extra kilograms, but you will face lot of difficulties while caring for a newborn and recovering from delivery. I have given details about what worked for me while losing weight in my article “One scale at a time” at https://passion-goals.blogspot.com/2018/03/one-scale-at-time.html

5. Yoga improves concentration and assists in a healthy pregnancy 

Yoga has been my favorite way to get fit. It not only improves concentration but helps in conception. I had joined a two day prenatal yoga workshop at the Yoga Institute in Mumbai. This helped me a lot during my last trimester. Although the doctor was of the view that it may be difficult for me to have a normal delivery but yoga gave me the confidence and strength to have a normal delivery without epidural. You must do the Baddhakonasana (butterfly pose) everyday before conception and during pregnancy as this asana strengthens the pelvic area and eases the delivery process. It also helps in the process of conception.

6. Squat your way through pregnancy 

It is very important to have strength in your calf and leg muscles so you can carry the weight of a growing belly and deliver your baby without epidural. Squats are the best exercise for strengthening your legs, glutes and pelvic area. If you are new to squatting then start slowly under supervision. Do this exercise everyday especially during the last three months of pregnancy as it will assist your baby in getting in the right position (head down) at the time of delivery. I would advise you to squat even before you conceive so your body gets accustomed to the exercise.

7. Don’t diet but add healthy options in your meals 

I love to eat out at restaurants, cafes and street. I have a sweet tooth as well. Dieting would never work for me. So I decided to eat what I like but I added some healthy food options to my meals everyday. Eating all types of berries, coconut, spinach, fenugreek, broccoli, banana, carrots and oranges helps a lot to get pregnant naturally and have a healthy pregnancy. These foods (especially coconut) also help to increase breast milk production. Carrots help in controlling acidity levels even during pregnancy.

8. Have faith

If things don’t work out immediately don’t get disappointed. Focus on building a strong faith on yourself and your partner. Nature has its own way of presenting us with the most beautiful gift in the world in the form of children. You will get what you believe you deserve. 

I wish you best of luck for a healthy pregnancy and childbirth.

If you enjoyed this article, please follow my blog to read the next article about dealing with PCOS.

Pregnancy Diaries - Introduction

It’s been 2 months and 15 days since my baby girl was born. Her name is Shanaya. She is the most beautiful person I have ever seen. When her little fingers hold my hand, I feel alive. Every mother talks about the joy of being a mom, but there is more to being a mom than the cuddles and giggles. Prior to becoming a mom, I was a lawyer, a daughter, a wife, a friend, a writer  and someone who loved to sleep and watch movies. Since the last two and a half months, the only thing left in my personality is motherhood. All I think about is how to protect my little munchkin from infection and how to make sure that she is on the right growth path. 

I finally decided to write about my journey from getting pregnant to becoming a mother. This is my first blog about pregnancy and motherhood. I chose to write about this topic so I can share the things that helped me during pregnancy and thereafter. 

The internet is full of information about any doubt that you can imagine regarding maternity. As a first time mom, you will get tempted to check every doubt on Google. You may end up trusting Google more than your parents or the doctor. Although some things that are available online are fairly correct, there is a lot of unreliable information also. 

My tip No. 1 is do not rely on the internet completely to clear your doubts regarding issues that may come up during pregnancy and thereafter. Trust your instincts. When you become a mom, God gives you the instinct to understand what works best for you and your baby. 

The next article in this series will be about “Getting pregnant”. I will share with you the things that no one tells you honestly about conception and things that will help you in taking your first step towards maternity.  Please follow my blog at www.passion-goals.blogspot.com for reading more interesting stuff in the series “Pregnancy Diaries” and to read articles and poetry about inspiration, relationships, travel and life.

Be Yourself

When people judge you for the way you are,

You may feel disheartened and dejected,

When fingers are pointing at your unique existence,

You may feel upset at the way you acted and reacted,

When everyone is against you and it seems like you are lonely,

It feels like the world is full of pain and depression only,

During such times don't lose your faith,

Don't give up on yourself and please don't stress,

Be like the mountain that stands steady always,

Don't let others judgment pull your confidence down,

Have faith in your strengths and gain experience from your mistakes,

Remember that God has made you unique so love what you are,

Because even with the flaws you are special as you are.