The expectation of a Daughter-In-Law

These days a lot of people are talking about the Indian Superhit movie Bahubali 2 for a lot of reasons, one of them being the lead actor taking the side of his wife against his mother. This led me to an important aspect that we all must think about. When a girl gets married, her family and friends are all trying to give her pieces of advice on the various things that the groom's family expects from her. But seldom someone advises the In-laws about the new bride's expectations from her new family.

We all know and have been informed time and again about the expectations of the groom and his family from the new bride. I think it is time that we ask the new bride - What are the expectations of a daughter-in-law from her husband's family, especially her mother-in-law?

These are some of the things every daughter-in-law expects from her mother-in-law:

1. Be her Friend not her Boss 

One of the most common problem between a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law is that the mother-in-law tries to boss or dominate the daughter-in-law. Instead of doing this, the mother-in-law should try to be the daughter-in-law's friend. The new bride is NEW in the family and she needs your friendship and support. She is not your employee so why should the mother-in-law try to boss her?!! The daughter-in-law knows that this is your house Mummyji, and she expects to be welcomed in a friendly environment. If you befriend your daughter-in-law, you will never have to worry about losing your beloved son to another woman!!

2. Respect her, do not insult her

Do not insult your daughter-in-law. Don't forget that she is somebody's daughter too and she has her own personality traits. As the groom and his family expects to be treated with respect, so does the daughter-in-law. The new bride is bound to make some mistakes, but don't we all make mistakes when we are new at a job or school? Then, why should the mother-in-law expect the new bride to be perfect and insult her or her family if she fails? She expects you to appreciate that she is making efforts to fit in your family. We are women of the modern age and we expect to be treated with respect and equality at work and at home.

3. Do not pressurize her to change who she is

The new bride has accepted your son and his folks (i.e your family) as they are, and she expects you to accept her as she is. It takes time to adapt and settle in a new home with new customs and practices. She wants you to give her time so she can fall in love with her new family and accept them as her own.

4. Respect her folks

This is one of the most important expectations that a daughter-in-law has from her husband and his family. Respect is a mutual emotion, what you give is what you get. She expects you to treat her family with the same respect that she has for you. It is not an easy thing to leave your family and accept someone else's parents as your own. However, feelings of mutual love and respect can make all things possible. If you treat her folks with respect and love, she will give you the same.

5. Give her a smile😊
This is so important for a happy home. The new bride is nervous and maybe a little scared, so why not give her a smile and ease her stress. We all desire appreciation at our jobs and at our schools/colleges. Similarly, the new bride expects some appreciation for her efforts at settling down in her new home. If you tell your daughter-in-law how much you appreciate her for trying to fit in the new family, she will give you all she has got. A smile can solve all fights and arguments. Why not greet the new member of your family with a smile every day?

6. Adjust and make space for her

Most mother-in-laws keep stressing on the sentence that "this is my house and you got to live here my way". Seriously..., does that ever work?? Instead why not create a space for her in your home and tell her that "this is our home and together we will make this a happy place". When a new person enters your home, it is your job to make your home comfortable for the new person and not vice-versa. It is the mother-in-law's job to make the daughter-in-law feel at home in the new house and make some initial adjustments. The daughter-in-law will adjust to your lifestyle too, but you need to take the first step.

7. Accept her presence in your son's life

The boy loves his mom to the moon and back, and he feels the same way for his wife too. So why should any of the two most important women in his life feel threatened by the presence of the other? A mother-in-law should not see the new bride as a threat. A mother can never lose the love of her son. Instead of trying to possess her son, a mother-in-law should focus on strengthening her bond with her daughter-in-law. By doing this, she will ensure a permanent and loving relationship with her daughter-in-law and her son.

The above points are just some ideas of a new perspective. I am not saying that a daughter-in-law is always right or the mother-in-law is always wrong. All I want to say is that a peaceful home is the foundation of a happy life. Instead of gossiping about the in-laws or the son's wife, why don't we focus on reaching a common ground? The world has a lot of serious problems to deal with, so why make a relationship issue such a serious problem? As the saying goes, "A daughter-in-law cannot be perfect by herself. A beautiful mother-in-law helps her be one"

Sending love to all the mother-in-laws and the daughter-in-laws and the sons. 💗💗💗💗

Chalta hai

At my recent trip to Mumbai (India), I noticed a lot of amazing things such as a cleaner environment and lot of efforts at beautifying our beloved city. But, amidst this process of a positive change for making our city beautiful, I noticed that we "Mumbaikars" are still not able to change our "Chalta hai" attitude. Our beautiful roads are full of traffic due to the irresponsible behavior of our so-called Mumbaikars!! 

Its a shame that educated citizens of the country do not have the civic sense to follow the lanes on the roads and the traffic lights. When a road has a one-way sign board, people still break the traffic rules and enter the road from the wrong side and if a Police Officer tries to correct such people, they post the cop's picture on social media and blame him for being corrupt. Why, in the first place, do such people break the law? I was amazed at the way the bikers and the rickshaws drive, they drive on the footpaths and overtake from the wrong side all the time. 

Stop complaining about the pot holes and the road constructions guys and take some responsibility for your own behavior. If you want the nation to really progress, then why not start by making a change in yourself?? It is very easy to find people to blame, that's what we always do, it is very easy to blame the government and the officials for the problems we face. But isn't it our responsibility to behave in a civilized manner to create a civilized society for ourselves and our future generations? One must realize that it is not easy for the police officers to control such a big population as ours, they stand in such hot temperatures simply to make our lives easy, and all we do is blame them for all our problems even when we are at fault!! The police officers are human beings just like you and me. Our nation needs a generation who stops saying "Chalta hai" and starts taking responsibility for their own actions. A change will come only when you change. Be the change that you want to see in the world.

Is regret worse than cigarette?!!🤔

Is regret worse than having a cigarette? I am not promoting smoking but thinking about this statement metaphorically, I wonder whether I'd rather smoke 1 cigarette than live with regrets?!! Every once in a while we look back at our lives and wonder whether the life choices that we made were choices that gave us happiness or were they simply choices that the world calls "the right thing to do". 

When we choose something that does not make us happy, we have regrets. It is very important for one to opt for happiness rather than wealth. This doesn't mean that one should not work hard or be lethargic. All I am saying is choose wisely. Every once in a while look back and look within and ask yourself whether the job you are doing makes you happy; or the relationships in your life give you joy. 

We have only one life, so do what adds meaning and value to your life and to the lives around you because regret is scarier than making big life changes. It requires a person to have immense courage to change bad life choices. But despite the fears of failures and disappointments, you got to do what makes you happy and what makes your life meaningful.

A message of happy new year

Today is the last day of 2016, everyone is talking about their plans to celebrate 31st and their plans for the new year. Why not write a short letter to the new year??

"Dear 2017,

We welcome you with new hopes and aspirations. One more year has passed and though 2016 was not an easy year for me, I survived. At times during the year, I thought I wouldn't make it at work or health or some other areas of my life till today. But here I am - standing tall and strong and still smiling. 2016 taught me something about myself - that despite the challenges I faced, my willpower to keep fighting through the struggle really helped me grow.

The situations where I thought "I can't do this" or "I don't know what to do", I was able to find a way. I made mistakes, maybe hurt some people, felt unappreciated at times, and very angry too. But through all this clutter I heard my inner voice that kept saying to me "you are stronger than this problem, you got to keep the fight on".

There were also some wonderful things that happened to me this year, I finally started my blog. I want to really thank all of my readers who supported me through my first year of writing this blog, who helped me inspire people and to inspire myself. I express my heartfelt gratitude to everyone of you who liked my page, read my posts, shared my posts for being part of this journey.

I hope 2017 will be a positive year with no accidents, no wars, more smiles and fun and lots of love for all. I pray that this journey of inspiration will continue to grow and more people will join our mission to spread positivity, joy and enthusiasm.

Thank you 2016, I am grateful for everything I achieved this year and I welcome you -2017 with a new zeal and new aspirations."

I wish you all a very happy, healthy and inspiring new year. I request my readers to write their own short notes or letters to 2017 in the comments box. Let's inspire and be inspired.

My Cousin Dennis

I had a cousin whose name was Dennis,

He was so sweet and never a menace,

He stayed far away from me, in a different country,

Yet when we met, I felt so great,

When he shifted to the city few blocks away from me,

We were too busy to meet to have a cup of tea,

Years have passed since I saw him last,

Time seems to have passed too fast,

Today I got a message from my mom about his sudden death,

She said your cousin Dennis breathed his last breath,

I could not believe that I would never see him again,

Nor hear him call out my name or pass by my lane,

I wish I had called him earlier, 

I wish we had met when our houses were so near,

Life is so short and we often don’t realize,

Now he is gone and I didn’t even get to say goodbye,

He was a nice guy always greeted me with a smile,

I admired him a lot for his willpower and drive,

He was in the hospital for quite a while,

But he fought till the end with persistence and tenacity,

Although he is not present with us today physically,

He will always be remembered for his determination and simplicity!!