These days a lot of people are talking about the Indian Superhit movie Bahubali 2 for a lot of reasons, one of them being the lead actor taking the side of his wife against his mother. This led me to an important aspect that we all must think about. When a girl gets married, her family and friends are all trying to give her pieces of advice on the various things that the groom's family expects from her. But seldom someone advises the In-laws about the new bride's expectations from her new family.
We all know and have been informed time and again about the expectations of the groom and his family from the new bride. I think it is time that we ask the new bride - What are the expectations of a daughter-in-law from her husband's family, especially her mother-in-law?
These are some of the things every daughter-in-law expects from her mother-in-law:
1. Be her Friend not her Boss
One of the most common problem between a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law is that the mother-in-law tries to boss or dominate the daughter-in-law. Instead of doing this, the mother-in-law should try to be the daughter-in-law's friend. The new bride is NEW in the family and she needs your friendship and support. She is not your employee so why should the mother-in-law try to boss her?!! The daughter-in-law knows that this is your house Mummyji, and she expects to be welcomed in a friendly environment. If you befriend your daughter-in-law, you will never have to worry about losing your beloved son to another woman!!
2. Respect her, do not insult her
Do not insult your daughter-in-law. Don't forget that she is somebody's daughter too and she has her own personality traits. As the groom and his family expects to be treated with respect, so does the daughter-in-law. The new bride is bound to make some mistakes, but don't we all make mistakes when we are new at a job or school? Then, why should the mother-in-law expect the new bride to be perfect and insult her or her family if she fails? She expects you to appreciate that she is making efforts to fit in your family. We are women of the modern age and we expect to be treated with respect and equality at work and at home.
3. Do not pressurize her to change who she is
The new bride has accepted your son and his folks (i.e your family) as they are, and she expects you to accept her as she is. It takes time to adapt and settle in a new home with new customs and practices. She wants you to give her time so she can fall in love with her new family and accept them as her own.
4. Respect her folks
This is one of the most important expectations that a daughter-in-law has from her husband and his family. Respect is a mutual emotion, what you give is what you get. She expects you to treat her family with the same respect that she has for you. It is not an easy thing to leave your family and accept someone else's parents as your own. However, feelings of mutual love and respect can make all things possible. If you treat her folks with respect and love, she will give you the same.
5. Give her a smile😊
This is so important for a happy home. The new bride is nervous and maybe a little scared, so why not give her a smile and ease her stress. We all desire appreciation at our jobs and at our schools/colleges. Similarly, the new bride expects some appreciation for her efforts at settling down in her new home. If you tell your daughter-in-law how much you appreciate her for trying to fit in the new family, she will give you all she has got. A smile can solve all fights and arguments. Why not greet the new member of your family with a smile every day?
6. Adjust and make space for her
Most mother-in-laws keep stressing on the sentence that "this is my house and you got to live here my way". Seriously..., does that ever work?? Instead why not create a space for her in your home and tell her that "this is our home and together we will make this a happy place". When a new person enters your home, it is your job to make your home comfortable for the new person and not vice-versa. It is the mother-in-law's job to make the daughter-in-law feel at home in the new house and make some initial adjustments. The daughter-in-law will adjust to your lifestyle too, but you need to take the first step.
7. Accept her presence in your son's life
The boy loves his mom to the moon and back, and he feels the same way for his wife too. So why should any of the two most important women in his life feel threatened by the presence of the other? A mother-in-law should not see the new bride as a threat. A mother can never lose the love of her son. Instead of trying to possess her son, a mother-in-law should focus on strengthening her bond with her daughter-in-law. By doing this, she will ensure a permanent and loving relationship with her daughter-in-law and her son.
The above points are just some ideas of a new perspective. I am not saying that a daughter-in-law is always right or the mother-in-law is always wrong. All I want to say is that a peaceful home is the foundation of a happy life. Instead of gossiping about the in-laws or the son's wife, why don't we focus on reaching a common ground? The world has a lot of serious problems to deal with, so why make a relationship issue such a serious problem? As the saying goes, "A daughter-in-law cannot be perfect by herself. A beautiful mother-in-law helps her be one"
Sending love to all the mother-in-laws and the daughter-in-laws and the sons. 💗💗💗💗
